I can tell from the Twitter blather that Team USA must have won something in hockey that some people are excited about. While I still hate the Olympics I find some of the comic responses to the Olympics and Team USA’s victory hilarious.
David Malki does a brilliant job of mocking the predictable soap opera Olympic narratives with “better Olympic narratives” from him and some of his friends. Here is a taste:
better olympic narratives • needs pure gold from medal to save dying spouse • in curling contest for immortal soul • skis are actually feet
Ineffectual attempt to get divorced parents back together • Chasing dream of starring in local furniture store commercial in ten years
better olympic narratives • actually snowboarding to save community center from developers • little white lie on first date has gone too far
better olympic narratives • back half of horse costume took a wrong turn • deep undercover narcotics agent • trying to outski her past
Lost hunter accidentally wins biathlon. • Training for Gymkata II: This Time It’s In Snow?
• country ceased to exist mid-ski jump à la Tom Hanks in The Terminal
Believes winning gold medal will lead to an audience with Zeus
blindly following guy who keeps getting into bobsleds
dying father made her promise to never enter the olympics; hates dying father.
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And then @JoshGreenman mocks the hyper-patriotism of the reaction to Team USA’s hockey victory by posting these wonderfully ironic paintings from Etsy





(HT Greg)
David Malki ! @malki
Jon Bergdoll @jbergdoll
Recovering ninja kat @Kouban
James Webber @james_t_webber
Andrew J. Plant @AndrewJPlant
I love so many of these (lots more great ones at his blog!) but nothing beats “skis are actually feet.”