(Guest Post by Matthew Ladner)
So that is Arne Duncan in the background, and yes, the President is using a teleprompter for a speech at an elementary school. Funniest caption wins a JPGB No-Prize!
Jay P. Greene's Blog
With Help From Some Friends
(Guest Post by Matthew Ladner)
So that is Arne Duncan in the background, and yes, the President is using a teleprompter for a speech at an elementary school. Funniest caption wins a JPGB No-Prize!
Jay P. Greene's Blog 
That’s why my administration is committing millions of dollars to 21st Century Skills. Without these talents you will not be able to operate or read from teleprompters like these. You would have to speak from the heart, which means you could never be President of the United States.
Now kids, we’re going to demonstrate how the Head Start program works. In this exercise, I will represent the politicians, my lovely assistant here will represent the bureaucracy, and your teacher will represent the school system.
Earlier today, my Secret Service detail broke into all of your houses and took all the money from your piggybanks. In a moment, we’ll bring out a big jar with all the money. I’ll take a big chunk of it to distribute to my cronies and friends, who will in turn donate to my future election campaigns. Then I’ll hand the jar to my lovely assistant and tell him to use it to improve your education. He will keep a big chunk of the money to hand out to thousands of unionized government employees. Then he’ll hand the jar to your teacher and tell her to use it to improve your education. She’ll keep it, and in return, for the rest of the day today, she’ll do whatever she was going to do anyway, but she’ll call it “Head Start”.
“Now kids, believe me when I say this: reading skills are important.”
“A…..B….(pause)…..C…..D….”
Obama: “See spot run, see spot ja…jum”
Duncan: “Sound it out, you’re doing good”
Obama: “Jump!”
“I’m sorry, kids; questions about your lunch food are above my pay grade.”
Obama: “I feel stupid. Did bush use Teleprompters to address kids?”
Ducan: “Don’t worry Mr. President; Bush only had craft paper signs written with Crayola markers.”
(Yes, I’m entering multiple times; it’s the Chicago way.)
In a move critics are calling overkill, President Obama brings teleprompters to his former school in an attempt to have his old teacher change his speech grade to an A.
Uh oh….the prompters stopped…and the only F I every received was in Extemporaneous speaking!!
Today, I’m proud to announce we have achieved our goal of reducing class size to zero.
“If you work hard, stay out of trouble, get good grades, someday you too will be able to address a room full of disinterested sixth graders with the aid of teleprompter technology. Or at the least, you might get one of the millions of teleprompter manufacturing jobs created or saved by my stimulus bill.”
Barack Obama demonstrates his new invention: the vertical tanning bed!
Bad news. You see that yellow picture of a house over my shoulder? It’s been foreclosed.
Secretary Duncan protects the family jewels as President Obama discusses the federal budget.
Set a course, Mr Sulu. Warp factor 10.
Obama: “Marry for money kids, because your public school stinks and it is unlikely we’ll ever make it better.”
Obama: “We’ll we were going to try to reform education to help you kids have a better future. But we decided to take “shovel ready jobs” literally so here are your little colored plastic shovels, now get out to the sandbox and get to work.”
Lots of good ones here. The winner: Mike! for:
Today, I’m proud to announce we have achieved our goal of reducing class size to zero.