Partnership Considers Casino Bailout



(Guest Post by Matthew Ladner)


Las Vegas (AP) Casino companies have entered into talks with the Ladner and Loftis LLP regarding a possible recapitalization of select Las Vegas Resorts.


Unable to resist economic gravity as in previous economic downturns, Las Vegas casinos have been laying off employees. “Las Vegas casinos are a great American institution,” noted James Loftis “the government got us into this mess, and the free market is going to have to get us out.”


“Vegas casinos face a short-term liquidity crunch. We will provide needed financial assistance,” noted Matthew Ladner. “We may even MAKE money on this deal!”


The precise assets to be purchased remain under negotiation, but are likely to include many hours at the tables, cigars, drinks out by the waterfall at the Wynn, multiple bets on college football games, and an umbrella drink or three by the pool.


L&L partners wouldn’t comment on ongoing negotiations, but rumors say that the bailout weekend may occur on the weekend of October 18th. The L&L partnership are raising funds from potential equity partners, or better yet, taxpayer funding.


“If we are going to subsidize real estate speculation, why not blackjack? It’s much more fun,” Ladner stated.


UPDATE: L&L officials confirmed the securing of a line credit from the newly formed Strategery Capital Management, LLC. An L&L official anonymously commented “Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez!”

2 Responses to Partnership Considers Casino Bailout

  1. Greg Forster says:

    On the bailout, Mickey Kaus writes:

    We helped bankrupt the banks. Now we’re doing the same thing for health care! What does mental health “parity” legislation, which has now been incorporated into the big “rescue” bill passed by the Dem-controlled Senate,, have to do with the nation’s financial crisis? .. . P.S.: Actually, the thinking behind the push for “parity” and the now-questionable decades-long push to extend mortgages to “underserved” groups seems eerily parallel: 1) Stodgy/greedy old bankers say they can’t afford to lend to minorities who don’t meet traditional mortgage criteria. But we have a noble social goal to fulfill and we know they’re wrong! … 2) Stodgy/greedy old health plan administratiors say they can’t afford to cover hard-to-diagnose mental problems (anxiety) and substance abuse to the same extent as they cover easy-to-diagnose physical problems. But we have a noble social goal ….

  2. Patrick says:

    That movie was considered “anti-choice” because the pregnancy was not aborted…not kidding about that.

    Feminists also got mad about the “unrealistic” portrayal of women.

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