Starbucks Bailout Needed

After experiencing a 97% decline in profit and an 8% drop in same store sales, Starbucks should also get in line for a federal bailout.  The collapse of Starbucks would pose a “systemic” risk to the economy.  Caffeine-deprived workers would fuel a spiraling decline in productivity.  Withdrawal headaches would spark fights in the streets, family disintegration, and general grumpiness.

And let’s not forget the baristas who risk losing their jobs.  Remember that Seattle was built by baristas who passed the tradition from father to son.  Do we want to turn Seattle into another Flint, Michigan?  Besides, how can we retrain them for other work that would still permit their goatees, piercings, and tattoos?

2 Responses to Starbucks Bailout Needed

  1. Patrick says:

    Looks like Starbucks will have to raise prices or pay less benefits…or drop the “fair trade” coffee.

  2. chicagoadam says:

    Mr. Schultz’ “back to basics” program for Starbucks is a disaster. Acting like a Jim Collins “hedgehog” is burrowing into the dirt – and letting competitors run right over Starbucks. This is bad news for investors, and the innovative employees that historically helped move Starbucks into new growth businesses. Read more at http://www.ThePhoenixPrinciple.com

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